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A little life, not a little loss
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Creating Memories

"Those we have held in our arms for a little while,

we hold in our hearts forever"

Anonymous

 

 

During Pregnancy

 

A body cast - a fairly inexpensive way to create an exact mould of a pregnant tummy.

 

Scan pictures - the first photos of baby. These can be 2D, 3D or 4D and can also be made into a DVD.

 

A special trip - parents can take baby to the beach, a waterfall, watch a sunset, lie under the stars, visit the zoo, attend a concert or show etc. Remind parents to take photos of as a reminder of some special times spent while baby is still alive inside.

 

A Journal - this can be written in as a daily diary or letters to baby. Anything parents would like to write down - feelings, messages, wants and wishes.

 

Once baby is born

 

Photos - these can be taken during labour as well as after birth. Try to get as many pictures as possible. We suggest you take pictures of baby's features - a nose, lips, hands, feet, bottom, back, tummy, hair etc. Photos of baby dressed as well as undressed and if it feels right for them, family members can hold baby and have pictures taken. Maybe you would like photos taken of bathing baby. For families overcome by grief and pain, the idea of photographing their baby may not immediately occur to them however these next few days are the only time you have to create a photo album that you can look at for years to come. It is better to have too many photos than not enough.  There is a service called “Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep” which offers professional photography for FREE. There are three photographers servicing the Tauranga area: Andrea Mahy, Mike Hill and Jodie Beattie. See www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org for more information. Mothers who have used this service have never regretted it, and now have a beautifull album or portraits on their wall... no matter the gestation!

 

Hand and foot prints - You can take the opportunity to take these prints yourself or ask a nurse or midwife for help if you are unsure. Again, many hand/foot prints can be taken or alternatively, the originals can be photocopied for use in memory booklets, photo albums etc.  Sands Bay of Plenty provides inkless hand and footprint kits to Tauranga Hospital. Please ask for them if it is not offered and we are more than happy to come up and assist with making prints for you.

 

Hand and foot casting - Hand and foot casting is a great way to have a tangible memorial of baby's hands and feet. The features and size we so quickly forget but casting keeps these memories alive forever. 

 

Baby items to keep - anything that has come into contact with baby can be something to treasure and keep in a memory box. Things like cutting a lock of hair, baby's hospital name band, cot card, umbilical cord clamp, any clothes baby may have worn, a nappy or a blanket.

 

A Locket or Keepsake Jewellery - having a locket with two pieces that fit together means that baby can wear one half and mum/dad can wear the other. Keepsake or Cremation Jewellery is another great way for parents to keep baby close. A lock of hair, fingernail clipping, or ashes can be included inside a special piece of jewellery - see www.myangel.co.nz

 

A name plaque - Glover Memorials provide free plaques for families whose baby has died. These are a beautiful keepsake with baby's name and date inscribed. Visit the Sands page under 'Community Care' or www.glovermemorials.co.nz for more details and pictures of some already donated to families.

 

An Urn for Ashes - If you have had baby cremated finding something special to keep the ashes in can be hard, and can take years to do. There is no hurry - often finding something special is more important that doing something quickly. However sometimes parents just hate the thought of the standard box cremains come in so time is important.  Urns Direct is a local company that has a lovely selection of hearts and smaller urns suitable for baby ashes - see www.urnsdirect.co.nz

 

Certificates - If baby was born after 20 completed weeks of life or weighed more than 400g or was born alive, parents can apply for a birth certificate from www.bdm.govt.nz. The Sands Certificate of Life is available for parents whose baby is born at any gestational age. You should find one in your Sands Gift Pack.

 

In years to come

 

Plant a tree - when choosing a tree for baby it may be worth thinking ahead if there is a chance they may move house. We suggest that parents choose something that can be potted in the garden. That way it is always moveable.

 

Create an online memorial - there are a lot of sites dedicated to the memory of a baby. 

Here are a few to give you a start...

 

www.mybabymemorial.com

www.slsicoreanatisirhc.stia

www.angelfire.com

www.memory-of.com

 

Mark anniversaries - birth, death and due dates can be difficult times for parents. Marking these dates can help parents feel connected to their baby. A birthday cake, releasing a balloon, a butterfly release, naming a star, or a trip to somewhere special they went when still pregnant are some ways in which they can mark the day.

 

Hold a memorial service - this can be held at any time, for a baby of any age. If baby died in early pregnancy or even years ago, maybe parents would like to think about what they would have wanted to share with baby whether this be a favourite song or a letter to baby. Parents may like to make a capsule and place special mementos for baby and bury this in their garden. Advise parents to be led by their heart and do what feels right for them.

 

For more information on what we do, please contact us and we will be more than happy to discuss things with you:

 

Denise  0224 977 412

A Locket or Keepsake Jewellery - having a locket with two pieces that fit together means that baby can wear one half and mum/dad can wear the other. Keepsake or Cremation Jewellery is another great way for parents to keep baby close. A lock of hair, fingernail clipping, or ashes can be included inside a special piece of jewellery - see www.myangel.co.nz

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